so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
