haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
