if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
