is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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