i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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