Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
