All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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