Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
foreskin is a definite game changer
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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