There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
