Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
