She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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