Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
