I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
