Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
