If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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