i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
