it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
