Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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