Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
