Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
