friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
