At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just had sex on a roof
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
