Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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