I can tuck mytits in my pants
Quick, to the slutcave!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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