He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize