Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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