At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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