her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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