fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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