she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
