If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
