just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
