My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm both gender and math confused
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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