doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
