That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
