I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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