i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
