it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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