Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
