Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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