I have demons in me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
