last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My balls are so social today.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
