Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
