My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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