there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize