About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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