Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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