FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
