he shaved USA in his pubs
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
