Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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