Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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