Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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