There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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