so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
