I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
