I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
