so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
