Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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