i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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