at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
