Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
