My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
