The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
