I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
